Friday, July 29, 2011

A Triumph of Will

or how the little wiener dog continues to outsmart his people.

Being a novice Dachshund owner, I'm being extra careful about the ills to which they are susceptible.

Rocky's nine months old now and tending toward pudgy. He eats all the time. This can eventually be bad for his back.

I googled -- why does my dachshund eat all the time -- and in .23 seconds got 442,000 hits.

Almost half a million! That's a lot of fatty-pie wiener dogs.

Consensus was, if they don't have worms, they overeat for the same reason people do.

They like it.

So, we put him on a diet.

The old show dog diet I used was the exact amount of dog food recommended by the label and canned green beans to fill up the empty space. In the dog, that is.

Rocky liked the beans for one day. He continued to eat them, but the idea he'd been cheated somehow cooked in that wiener brain until he was driven to act.

He tried to climb onto the dining room table to get the last cinnamon roll. His legs are three inches long. The dining room table is -maybe- three and a half feet off the floor. This seemed like an Eiger Sanction type climb in dachshund world.


He retrieved a candy bar from the bottom of kiddo's purse and ate the whole thing, paper and all.

He ate the bottom of the empty dog food bag.

He ate most of Dearest's glasses. The plastic part.

He ate sticks in the yard. Weeds. Leaves. Flowers. Part of a dead bird.

We thought we constructed a diet. We created a psycotic eating disorder.

He gained ONE POUND.

That would be like twenty pounds on a human person.

Which reminds me of another story.

When kiddo was in seventh grade, she was having trouble with algebra. So, her father and I decided to help her with her math homework.

Her grade went down.

We had to go to school and have a meeting.

We stopped helping, and somehow kiddo made it out of the seventh grade.


Resistance is futile.
I'm not quite ready to admit that wiener will triumphs over human ingenuity. Plus, it's kind of fun to see what the little poop will do next.


UPDATE - DIET, WEEK TWO

He's lost weight -- looks slim and trim and is very crabby.

Typical diet results, seems to me.

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