Monday, December 31, 2007

2007, At Long Last, Good-Bye

2007 was an extreme year for me.

Tremendous ups.

Desperate lows.

I saw the Law of Attraction in spades.

One bad situation occurs, and the next thing you know, you're up to your neck in a crap storm.


But it turns around. It turns around.

I've never felt this way about a year, but, all in all, 2007 is one, I'm glad to bid adieu.


Sunday, December 30, 2007

Hummmm . . .

The night the hummingbird feeder looked like LAX
video

Friday, December 28, 2007

Friday Fill-In

From Fond of Snape and the movies.

1. "I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, to leak out noses and eyes."

2. "Why is the rum always gone?" Yes, Johnny, yes. Why?

3. "Harold, *everyone* has the right to make a mistake."

4. "Nine companions, so be it. You shall be less than 10."

5. "Nonsense, I have not yet begun to whine."

6. "Mama says they was magic shoes. They could dance."

7. And as for the weekend, I have no plans!

Bull Fight

video

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Fractal

Saw a baby, 18 months maybe, being wheeled around Walmart, while she babbled into a toy cell phone clutched to her ear.

It's the end of the world as we know it.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Come Again?

I swear this thing winked at me after I took the picture.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

12/25/07

Merry Christmas to all.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Night Before Christmas

We have a dinner of comfort food.

We watch our Christmas movies.

and

Then, off to bed, to toss and turn, while waiting impatiently for

Christmas Day.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Montana Movie Trivia

Brad Pitt walked through this famous room at MSU Bozeman.

Guess which one.

Room or movie?

Either.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Friday, December 21, 2007

Friday Fill-In

Last year during Holidailies is when I become enamored of Memes.

1. Snow white.

2. I'm looking forward to Christmas!!

3. This holiday is the best holiday ever! Except for my birthday, but not all of you get to celebrate that one. :P

4. One of my favorite old TV shows is Mr. Ed.

5. I'm done with regrets.

6. The most enjoyable thing around the holidays is the atmosphere.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to rest, tomorrow my plans include family coming home, and Sunday, I want to prepare for our Christmas Eve tradition!

Meme gratefully lifted from here.

Fractal



By the light of two candles,

we drank Mojitos

and

mocked Yuppies.

What could be more fun?

I like rum.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Happy Birthday, Baby

It was snowing in Missouri MUMBLE MUMBLE years ago.

I don't doubt it's snowing in Montana right this minute.

video

Make it a good one.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

By the Light

. . . of a really old lamp.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Ecclesiastes 9:11

“Again I saw that under the sun, the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, nor bread to the wise, nor riches to the intelligent, nor favor to the skillful; but time and chance happen to them all.”

Neither skill, strength, wisdom, or talent will save you.

Shit happens.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

If Animals Could Talk

My favorite Bible story is Numbers 22:22.

Some unfortunate named Balaam is riding his donkey to Moab, and this pisses off God.

God sends the Angel of the Lord to stop Balaam. The donkey sees the Angel standing in the middle of the road with drawn sword and spooks, thus carrying Balaam to safety.

If I saw an Angel of the Lord standing in the middle of the road, I’d be spooked too.

But, Balaam brooks no such nonsense and beats the donkey until it returns to the road. This goes on two more times until the Lord gives speech to the donkey. The donkey explains the situation, and Balaam returns home a repentant sinner. The talking donkey is heard from no more.

Now, it has often occurred to me, when I am most frustrated with my animal companions, if somehow they were given the gift of speech in that moment, they’d say, “You dumb ass. I’m only trying to help.”

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Well, Duh.

Ever do something that seems like a good idea at the time, but ensuing events prove otherwise?

Put liquid dish soap in the dishwasher once.

Seemed like a good idea at the time.

The resultant flood proved otherwise.

Thought red wine might be a nice addition to Christmas dinner.

Wiped everyone out with a red wine headache.

Seemed like a good idea at the time.

Ran all around the house with the brand new carbon monoxide testing device. Said to Husband Dearest, “This thing doesn’t work. I can’t get a reading.”

He said, “Good.”

Um, right.

Went out to the garage. Started the car. Waved said testing device under the tailpipe. CO detector shrieked with alarm. Flashed the message, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

Seemed like a good idea at the time.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Antiquities

I love to photograph old buildings. They interesting quirks and hidden secrets.

No Comment

Thursday, December 13, 2007

How I Wish it Was Summer Again

Because it is snowing today.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

One Scientific Question Answered

According to this article in USA Today, human evolution is speeding up.

Blue eyes, apparently, are relatively new to the population.

One scientist proclaims, "What do people with blue eyes have that made them have more children?" Hawks asks. "I dunno."

'Cause we're cuter, that's why.

Butte Montana, Just Passing Through

Back door to the opium den.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Public Service Announcement

... so you don't wake up dead in Heaven.

If you’ve joined our program, already in progress, let me bring you up to date.

I’m an EMT – First Responder with a rural fire department. My job, in an emergency, is to take care of the patients until the ambulance arrives. In my community, that takes about 30 minutes, unimpeded, on dry pavement. We are often, first on the scene of tragedy.

Well, I’m usually third on the scene because both my partners move faster than me, so I’m left in the dark, gathering my equipment, wondering, which way did they go, but I digress. Which reminds me, and I digress again. PRIMUS, VOLENS ET POTENS is Latin for First, Willing and Able. I wanted that on a tee shirt, but realized, one dark night, that mine should read, Third, Willing and I’ll Give It My Best Shot. End of digression.

A small group had rented a community hall and were staying overnight – sleeping on the floor until their program was over. Several of the group went to the ER for the flu, where it was discovered, what they actually had, was carbon monoxide poisoning.

We were paged to the hall at 5 AM, in zero degree weather, to assess and make sure we didn’t have a multiple casualty incident. Everyone was fine (carbon monoxide detector) Sleepy and cold, when we were through, but alive. The patients were exposed in their car on the way to the gathering.

Here are the scary, deadly facts about carbon monoxide:

Odorless, tasteless, and nonirritating,

Most common type of fatal poisoning in many countries.

Symptoms include headaches, vertigo, and flu-like effects.

Inhaled, it takes the place of oxygen in the blood.

For more information, click the picture of the carbon monoxide molecule.

Protect yourself and your loved ones. Relatively inexpensive carbon monoxide monitors are available everywhere. They look and work like smoke alarms. You don’t want to wake up some cold dark night with a fireman staring you in the face.

Or worse.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Shop 'Til You Drop

When I placed my purchase on the counter at the video store, the pubescent clerk asked, "Picking up a gift?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Figured so. Didn't make you for a Schwarzenegger fan," he grinned.

Oh really.

Now, if I had said, "I've been watching Arnold movies since before you were born," would I have proved his point or mine?

Alas.

If you want me, I'll be on the porch, in my rocking chair, clutching an ear trumpet, yelling "WHAT!" at passers by.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Friday, December 07, 2007

Everyday Horses

Remember this commercial – metro-looking dude holds up an egg and says, “This is your brain.” He cracks the egg into a hot frying pan. “This is your brain on drugs.”

It took me f o r e v e r to get that. Fried, right? Duh.

The human brain is amazing. The mind generated in the human brain is confounding in range of abilities. A human mind can conceive art, justice, love or murder. It is truly one of this world’s wonders.

The brain of a horse, on the other hand, is the size of a fist, operates a mainly manure producing device and can barely conceive of grass. A tiny brain motivating 1,000 plus pounds makes a horse a liquid-eyed, silken skinned catastrophe in motion.

I grew up reading stories of courageous, trustworthy, equine companions who not only stood by their human friend, but often came to his rescue. Saturday mornings I sat mesmerized in front of the television while Fury, Flicka, Champion, Buttermilk, Diablo, Scout, Silver and Trigger emoted loyalty, intelligence and love all over assorted cow men and women. Did Trigger ever let Roy down? No.

The sad truth is, my dears, what comes over TV is not the truth. A horse in real life is more apt to kick his cow person in the head and run off. Even in the face of this major character defect, people remain serious about horses.

When I went to see Return to Snowy River, I joined an audience filled with cowboys, little girls and single women. The highlight of this film, as in the original, is when the Australian cowboy jumps his horse off a cliff and rides all the way down. However, in Snowy River, Part Two, halfway down, the villain shoots the horse. At this point in the film, I heard a female voice behind me say, “Why that dirty son of a bitch.”

Serious. Yes indeed.

Horses are the reason I walk with a limp, have a bad back and an elbow that predicts the weather. I’ve finally developed, what I consider to be, a mature relationship with my equine neighbors. I admire them from afar. They don’t try to kill me. Détente.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Mountain Cows

When I was a child, my family lived in California's San Joaquin Valley. My parents' favorite week-end trip was a two hour drive through the mountains to the coast. We'd have lunch, play in the ocean, stroll through the shops, then drive home.

I guess a person's not technically a flatlander, living in a valley surrounded by mountains, but the Pacific Coast Range up close did awe and inspire my nine-year-old self. Back then, California wasn't quite so paved. Genuine farmers used the sea side of the coastal hills for pasture.

To me, it seemed those mountains went straight up from base to top. So, I asked my mother, how it was those cows peacefully grazing up there, managed to stick to those steep mountain sides.

"Well," she said, "Those are special mountain cows. The legs on one side are shorter than those on the other."

That informational tidbit was tucked away in my nine-year-old brain, unquestioned and unexamined.

When I was 22, my sweetheart wanted a romantic location to propose marriage, so he drove us through the mountains to the coast.

As we passed one farmer's pasture I said to my sweetie, "See those cows. Those are special mountain cows. The legs on one side are shorter than those on the other."

My potential fiancé wasn't a flatlander or a Californian. He had never heard of such unusual heredity. He stared over at me and asked, "How do they get back to the barn? Do they have to walk all the way around the mountain?"

He thought I was kidding. I didn't realize I was. He believed I was quite a wit though, and married me anyway.

Abraham Lincoln said, you can fool all of the people some of the time and some of the people all of the time, but he imagined the consequences of lying would ultimately catch up with the liar. So, when I told my mother about the man-eating marmots in Yellowstone Park, that was just fair play.

This post won a BEST OF HOLIDAILIES award.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Aging Gracefully

Who are they kidding?

I was 22 when I got married. My sweetheart was 28. My sister was 17. She thought 28 was so old. Old like, time to go to the rest home, old.

When my husband turned 30, my sister and I got together and gave him an over-the-hill party. We thought it was hysterical. When I turned 30, I didn’t think it was all that funny.

I used to say, I felt old age creeping up on me, but when I looked, it was only my husband. I don’t say that anymore.

Three times in one week, I left the grocery store followed closely by the bag boy and couldn’t remember where I parked the car. It’s hard to be hip when your memory’s slipped.

I went to the doctor, and he told me I was getting to the age where I had to learn to live with certain things. The last time my husband went to the doctor, the doctor told him, when a person reaches a certain age, they start imagining things are wrong.

I consider that progress. In a few more years all the aches and pains I’ve had to learn to live with will all be in my mind.



I used to say,
old age is creeping up on me
but
when I looked, it was
just my husband.
Then I’d laugh,
but
now,
I think old age is creeping up on me
and when I looked, it was
me
clinging to the hand rail going downstairs
it was
me
turning on all the lights to read
it was
me
asking, what’d he say?
it was
me.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

A Thoroughly Modern Dilemma

My daughter started dating a musician. Boy, he could play. I added his music to my iPod.

Way cool.

Daughter breaks up with musician.

Bummer.

Do I have to take his music off my iPod?

“Nah,” she says, “If you change all the track names to !@#$*%e.”

Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

So, Blog Surfers, in the interest of further education (mine) please vote the poll at right. Let me know if I’m violating a Universal Law of Motherhood or damaging the cause of Female Solidarity.


And the votes are in!

55% said keep the music.
44% said, dump the fool.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Decorate the Tree

Back in the day, my mother handed my sister and me, one strand of tinsel at a time.

One.

Of course, back then, tinsel was actual tinsel, not a plastic approximation, but still.

One.

At a time.

Which is why, at my house, the task of decorating the tree was not to make the most beautiful tree on the block. The object was for the kids to have fun.

And we did. video

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Day 1 - Good Grief

In the spirit of I don’t have time to do everything I need to do, let alone all the stuff I want to do, I thought I’d add one more something else to the list. I signed up for Holidailes 2007.

"Holidailies is a free community writing project. All Holidailies 2007 participants promise to update their personal web sites every day from December 1 to January 1."

I did this last year and clearly remember thinking, I’m not going to do this next year.

Oh well.

My Number 1 Fan cheered when she heard. Something new to read every day. Don’t put up too many pictures, she said.

Silly girl.

We’ll see how long it takes this year before I’m down to dog stories.

Happy Holidailies.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

No Comment

FYI

How far that little candle throws its beams!
So shines a good deed in a naughty world.
William Shakespeare


Stop Alien Abductions.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Monday, November 19, 2007

Monday, Once Again

Manic Monday.

What is your least favorite day of the week and why?

Friday -- because it is errand day.

What's the best way to end the day?

A cup of Italian sipping chocolate with cinnamon.

Which animal would you have left out of the ark?

Cats.

Ha! Made a million feline-impaired people scream.

Take a breath, Cat People. I josh.

What animal would I have left out of the ark?

Politicians.

1st of the Season



Saturday, November 17, 2007

Monday, November 12, 2007

Language, Ladies

I never liked this phrase applied to a woman.

That took balls.

Obviously, if we are speaking about a woman, BALLS are not what it took.

"Ovaries" doesn't seem an appropriate replacement. Did ovaries ever start a war, beat up someone, or be especially brave?

For a while, I thought HOT FLASH might suffice.

She had the HOT FLASH to carry her through.

One never knows when hormonal imbalance can come in handy.

Over at Bitch Ph.D. she's suggesting something new to replace BALLS.

Skirt.

Do you have the skirt for that?

I went to Catholic school, back in the day. We didn't get to wear trousers. When I reached the age I could speak for myself, I discarded all those skirts and never looked back.

So, I know I don't have the skirt for anything.

But, she's right.

If you don't have, never wanted and don't need, don't let them tell you have BALLS.

Courage.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Post #200


QUOTE OF THE DAY

The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do,

something to love

and something to hope for.

Joseph Addison

Monday, November 05, 2007

Monday Meme

Manic Monday for November 5, 2007

Describe yourself in one word:

Conflicted.

What is your favorite kitchen utensil and why?

One cup pot. It’s cute and boils just enough for one cup of tea.

What is the one thing that frightens you the most about growing old?

That I’ll be alone.

Define This

Word of the Day nudged a sensitive spot.

manqué • \mahng-KAY
: short of or frustrated in the fulfillment of one's aspirations or talents.
Example Sentence:

Clarke has a remarkable gift for drawing, but unless he applies himself, he'll always be an artist manqué.

American Entrepreneur

American Gangster, a movie way, way, way, way, way too long.

About mid 2nd Act, I leaned over to remark to Husband Dearest, This is boring, and found he was asleep.

The setup is nice. We meet the two men and learn their foibles, and then, and then, and t h e n -- the New York drug scene in the 70s. Over and over again. Once would have been enough.

The film has some nice moments. Especially when Lucas and Roberts finally meet. The story has interesting elements. Frank Lucas was an American entrepreneur figuring out how best to beat the competition and his competition was the Mafia. Richie Roberts was an honest cop at a time when honesty made him a pariah on the force.

But 157 minute run time! Give me, my bladder and aching back a break.

According to Box Offic Mojo, American Gangster made $46,344,000 coming out a little ahead of Seinfeld's cartoon.

Friday, November 02, 2007

W T F

Halloween night, as I walked out to take a picture of the pumpkin, I turned back and took this picture of our living room.
What the heck is this?
A moment later it looked like this.



I might say it clouds reflecting in the window except it was DARK.

I might say it was smoke, but there was nothing on fire in the living room.

Next picture it was gone.

Weird.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Thursday Thirteen


Thursday Thirteen for Halloween.

1. Since we are currently kiddo-less, no more trick or treating night walks for us.

2. Little known weather phenomena -- only in Montana. It doesn't matter how warm it is the day before, Halloween night is always 20 below. You know you're in Montana when all the little princesses and pirates are wearing costumes over snowsuits.

One year, it was -50. That's right, 50 degrees below zero, and we were trick or treating with our princess. Her Dad and I had to take turns warming up in the car. Turns out, Montana Princesses are unaffected by cold.

3. I remember being told I was too old to trick or treat when I was still a kid. Once when I dressed up as a ghost to go along with my kiddo, a very-determined lady kept motioning me to come up to the door and get a treat, and I thought, But, I'm the Mom. I finally went up and held out my hand. M&Ms if I remember right.

4. We once baked our own pumpkin seeds. They were so good. I got so sick.

5. I always wanted to be a cowboy.

6. Went once as Snow White.

7. Kiddo's first Halloween, she went as a black cat.

8. Went to an adult Halloween party as Buffalo Bill Cody. Brought my own buffalo.

9. Our favorite thing to do evolved into a night of scary movies, and eating all the candy we bought. See Weather Phenomena #2.

10. I like scary monster movies. I do not like scary serial killer movies.

11. My sister went to an adult Halloween party as Captain Jack Sparrow. She has the hair for it.

12. Currently, my favorite scary movie is THE RING.

13. If I were to dress up this year, I'd go as a zombie.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Meme Monday

Personally, I no longer call Monday a bitch. I found she's liable to stop by and kick ass. However, I still like this meme.

Aging

1. If you could pause your aging process, at what age would you choose do to it? (Meaning you would not live forever, but live for 90 or so years at whatever age you chose).

30

2. At what age did you consider yourself to be an adult?

19

SILLY ME.

3. What do you think will be your most annoying trait when you’re a senior?

Can I drive? Let me drive? I want to drive? I was driving before you were born!

GIVE ME THE DAMN KEYS.

4. How does your current life compare with where you thought you’d be at this point when you were young?

Not at all.

REALLY, WHAT DO WE KNOW WHEN WE'RE YOUNG? WE SEE POSSIBILITIES BUT NOT TRIALS.

5. When would you like to retire?

Never.

5b. What do you see yourself doing with your life after retirement?

I better be living at the ocean.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Friday, October 26, 2007

Friday Fill-In

A fun little meme.

1. The last good thing that came in the mail was my new EMT endorsement license.

LET ME RESUSCITATE YOU.


2. This week I'm grateful for finding an exercise rehabilitation program that is actually helping my back after the car wreck.

I'M IN NO SHAPE TO EXERCISE!

3. Seafood is the most delicious thing ever.

ESPECIALLY IF YOU CAN SMELL THE OCEAN WHILE YOU EAT.


4. My kiddo inspires me.

WITHOUT HALF TRYING.


5. I'm most happy when I finally sit down to write and the fiddling is over.

PROCRASTINATION IS AN ART FORM, BUT IT IS AN UNFULFILLING ONE.


6. And all the roads we have to walk along are uphill.

I LIVE IN THE MOUNTAINS.

7. As for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to a good dinner with good company, tomorrow my plans include a movie out and Sunday, I want to take a drive!

BEEN ALONE ALL WEEK. I'M IN THE MOOD FOR A LITTLE COMPANIONSHIP.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007