Survival of the Quickest Learner

Leaving the latest horror/disaster film* yesterday a little off-kilter as the great horror films will leave a person, I wondered.

Why are the streets empty? (Montana.)

 

How many people in WalMart would survive an alien invasion? (6 to 5 and pick 'em.)

 

How fast does a person have to be to adapt to quickly changing survival strategies?

 

I was right with the folks in the film staring into the sky – wonder what that is?**

 

I once lived in a city that had a train wreck caused toxic chemical spill and I briefly thought, ‘wonder what that looks like’ before deciding to stay home.

 

And what is the deal with cats in horror movies?

 

Seriously, people, let the monster have the cat.

 

Run.

 

Don’t look back.

 

Photo by Tran Mau Tri Tam on Unsplash
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 *A Quiet Place. Day One

 

**and we all are right now waiting for the T Coronae Borealis nova to happen!

 

Wouldn't It Be Nice ...

 

International Horror Hotel Film Festival

 Just returned from the horror film fest. 

Viridian Lake won 1st place in the Horror category. Trapped at an isolated mountain resort, a small band of survivors struggle to escape when a primeval entity oozes out of a lake and consumes everything and everyone in its path. Weekend recreation turns into a desperate run for survival. 

Wolf Con won 3rd place in Creature Feature, An old school Montana cop chases a murderer, who witnesses describe as a zombie werewolf, into a Sci-Fi/Fantasy convention.

George Clooney Saves the Universe won 1st place in SciFi. A space alien disguised as a movie star must get human earthlings to help him save the Universe.

The festival was in Cleveland.

Big city on the banks of a Great Lake. It's funny that I have a script about a lake that crawls ashore and starts melting people, because once we were in town, I kept asking, "where's the beach?" 

I live just over a hill from a pretty wonderful lake. 

But I'd never been to a Great Lake. I wanted to wade in a Great Lake. Multiple Uber drivers told me that if I dipped a toe into Lake Erie, I'd lose my foot. But at least the river wasn't on fire anymore.

As close as I got to a Great Lake.

In spite of locals teasing about Cleveland's environmental history, they were proud of their city and I thought it was pretty cool. We took in the touristy sites when the festival wasn't running movies.

One of the perks for the winners was an opportunity to have a table read of a scene or two from the script. The actors were all great. We had a little audio problem as there was a horror movie playing in the next room. A few lines got lost under the neighboring scary music, but I heard enough laughs to make my day.

Here is a link to the table read via You Tube as it's too big for blogger. :P 

George Table Read

Sunday night was the award ceremony. There were awards given that hadn't been previously announced. Best of each category. And Best Overall for each category. And ... 

won Best Feature and was Best Overall Script Champion! 

What can I say? Laughs and applause are far from my career normal which is usually sitting in front of computer playing with imaginary people.

I had fun in the city. Met a bunch of people who create, admire and watch scary movies. Pitched a director  without melting into a puddle of goo. Listened to an audience enjoy my work. 

All things considered, a weekend that will be hard to top.

And then I came home.

Regarding COVID while traveling -- my first trip anywhere in three years. It was a mixed bag as some were masked and most were not. Flight attendants all were masked. I masked up in the plane and in crowds once in Cleveland. Cleveland's Natural History Museum was the only place that required masks for entrance. It's a whole new world out there.

2022

 

All That Space

Photo by Casey Horner on Unsplash

 I'm watching Invasion on Apple TV and it is boring. Looked promising. Had Sam Neill. Nice setup. But as a space alien invasion movie it has character development like nobody's business and ... yeah, that's it.

Where are the monsters? I mean, the space aliens? I watched three episodes, I think, saw one peek.

So far most of the show are people behaving badly. Duh. Sorry, but currently we've got more than enough of that in real life.

I'm watching and start thinking, what if * aliens did land on or accost Earth in some way? What would we do? Would we get along with our freaked out neighbors. Do we get along with them now? Would we continue to hide out in the mountains of Montana or make a run for -- who knows where?

Would the disparate personalities of my family manage to meld into a cohesive survivor unit or would we drive each other crazy in new and disastrous ways?

And, I got scared. 

Really.

Photo by Brian McMahon on Unsplash

We'd have some time to adjust because, apparently space aliens always start with New York. Might take them a while to get to Montana. 

 So, I'm sitting there with Invasion playing in front of my face, trying to figure out how to keep the family together in the event of space invaders, scaring myself, and it finally occurs to me.

 

Photo by Guillermo Ferla on Unsplash

The odds of alien space explorers ever finding us in the expanse of space are long. Dare I say astronomical? 

 We're a small planet overrun with with delusions of grandeur. One in billions and billions as Carl Sagan used to say. Those odds are a sucker bet.

Then I felt better. 

 Glad to know I can continue to ignore the neighbors. Cherish the charming personalities of my family. And be content in the fact that we're hiding out in the the embrace of the Milky Way.

Photo by William Zhang on Unsplash

* Those are the magic words. 

I have my own invader from space script. It's called, George Clooney Saves the Universe, and my space alien is nice. Still causes trouble, but a nice being. That script was the most fun I ever had writing a screenplay. Space is weird.

Journal Musings

A commonplace book is a type of journal/scrapbook meant to contain ideas, notes, sayings – whatever struck the writer to remember. Less coherent than morning pages or Dear Diary, a compendium of wisdom as one makes their way through the day.

 But what if your commonplace book was a photo journal.

 

I started a little photo journal – made it myself – using a business card printer – and found I was collecting odd stuff that struck my fancy with no rhyme or reason.

The line at the vaccination clinic. The time the neighbors rode by on mules. Rocky and his sweater. Drones at the lake. It became a photographic random access memory file and is quite fun to browse.

 

The business card printers only work with smart phones, but when I use a regular camera, I email or message it to myself to get it in the phone.

 

I started with a polaroid printer which was nothing but fun. However, they kept updating the app until it was virtually impossible to use and absolutely no fun at all. I finally threw the stupid thing away. 

 

Then I tried Fuji Instax – which works well – never a problem with its bluetooth, but it uses actual photo paper and sometimes I like to cut the pictures up and that is a messy no go with that paper. Also a glue stick is required to post with this system.

 

Finally settled on Canon Ivy which uses Zink paper with a sticky backing. No glue stick. Trim however. This one also connects with no problem. The battery life is not spectacular however.

 

A journal with no words (mostly.) 

Music by https://www.bensound.com

 

 

 

Wild Audio

I never agreed that the on-board GoPro mic was all that bad – even muted by the cases – waterproof and otherwise, but there were a lot who complained that the camera produced crap audio.

Sennheiser has come up with a solution. The Action Mic for GoPro Hero 4.

Wind screen

It’s not cheap – $200. For that you get the mic, connections, waterproof back door for Hero 4, two spacers, and an innovative windshield

Unlike a dead cat or standard foam wind screen – this one is immersible in water – no problem.

 

Cute as a box of puppies

Take your waterproof Hero 4 case, remove the backdoor, snap on the Action Mic’s backdoor, plug the connection into the usb mic slot on the camera, if you’re not using the battery backpack, add the blue spacer, carefully close up the back door – mind the wire and make sure the seal is good and even all the way round. *

I live next to a creek, so I fitted up my Hero 4 Black, and took the whole thing for a trial run. Nothing exciting, like boating over a cliff, just a dip and dunk in the creek.

First, I tested the audio around all sides of the camera – clear, distinct with no fall off when the mic was on the far side. Then down into the creek we went.

Wow. It was loud. The little tink-tink-tink sounds are debris hitting the mic. This creek moves pretty fast.

Afterwards, disassembled and allowed (as advised) to air dry. Pretty cool. 

I plan to mount the rig on the front of my kayak, control it with the remote and I’ll probably get excellent audio of fish jumping, birds chirping and me swearing at the power boat people. Once Montana decides to give us some summer.

The only down side I see is, rigged with the mic, the GoPro is a sizable chunk of wind resistant object. Although the mic handles the wind well, some people might object to the size with regards to weight and balance. 

Although, I am nobody’s audio expert, I have been experimenting with adding a mic to the GoPro for a quite a while. Here is what I’ve tried.

Olympus, Rode, iGo and a Takstar. The Rode’s the best by far. The Olympus is okay. The iGo is convenient but average (especially when the other camera is mic'd with the Rode. And the Takstar was when I was shooting video with a DSLR and let’s just say, I don’t do that anymore. And of course, none of these are waterproof.

Sennheiser’s Action Mic is an expensive but excellent solution for great audio in all weather video.

* I’m a worrier.

Wouldn't It Be Nice

In 2001: A Space Odyssey, HAL, the space station’s onboard computer becomes increasingly resistant to human direction.

I'm sorry Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.

My iPad isn’t that honest. It just doesn’t do what I want.

The problem with an iPad isn't increasing self-awareness, it's that the iPad is almost a computer.

Almost.

ALMOST a computer.

I have an iTouch and an iPad Mini. I remember when the iTouch got Bluetooth capability, but only for earphones when what everyone wanted was a keyboard.

Eventually, Bluetooth keyboard compatibility was added, but it seemed to take years.

I sold my photo safe back when they were cheap, and started using the iPad to back up my pictures on vacation. I would nearly fill the iPad 32 gb, but it worked.

We’re getting ready to go on a vacation, and this time I may have massive amounts of video, so I went looking for a way to backup the backup on the iPad.

Well, stop right there. Ain't happening. It is not possible without iTunes which means access to a computer.

There are a few hacks to get stuff onto the iPad without a computer, but out of the iPad onto a jump drive. No. And it has that nice little USB to lightning connector hanging right there, but it only works to download a camera.

With the iPad, apparently, the signs all point one way. If they didn't, I might use iTunes less, but I'd use the iPad more. Apple constantly bombards me for updates with features I don't want or that my device can't use, so why oh why, can't I get the one I want?

I recently changed my entire camera system so I would no longer be carrying a camera that weighed as much as a boat anchor. Plus now I have a video setup that is pretty streamlined and lightweight. I am not inclined to add a computer to the load.

I have a MacBook Air that is barely bigger than a regular size iPad, but jeeze. What good is technology if it causes more problems than it solves?

Obviously, almost a computer is only good for complete insanity.

Bird Watching with the Go Pro

We have a bird feeding station in our yard. Mainly to feed the woodpeckers all year, but in the spring, the Western Tanagers return.

Pros on the GoPro: Again, I cannot believe the quality of the audio that comes out of these cameras. Encased in solid plastic, all the twangs, peeps and bird feet hitting the pole came through loud and clear. At first, I thought there was something wrong with the camera until I realized it was wild sound.

Cons: The cameras got warm. It's an issue with these and there are ways to deal with it. Live and learn.

Instruction manuals aren't exactly a GoPro strength.

The Go Pro idea of cameras with the emphasis on them as a capture device is a different view of photography than my usual. It makes the event more important than the camera work. I'm finding it's interesting and fun.

Movie Time

 

This month I've seen the following movies.

The Maze Runner

The Equalizer

The Drop

Cold In July (DVD)

Gone Girl

The Judge

Maze Runner -- not bad. Gamerish, which is a description not an insult. Nice effects. Good monster. The obstructive force/character was such a cliché, I almost counted his lines to know when we would be done with him and could move on with the story. Pretty tame considering they could have gone Lord of the Flies and didn't. But, I'll pass on the sequel. You're only a teenager once, I guess. Box Office = $76,339,821.

The Equalizer -- Denzel seems a very precise actor. No surprises here, but not a bad afternoon at the movies. The showdown in a Home Depot-like store was a nice change. Comes the Zombie Apocalypse, let's hole up there. Box Office = $70,160,373.

The Drop -- Go see this in a theater while you still can. James Gandolfini's last film and the always amazing Tom Hardy. Lovely film making, takes some time to let the audience gather clues, which creates tension and suspense without anyone jumping out of the shadows wielding a bloody chainsaw. Box Office = $10,499,451. Seriously, go see this. Support a smart film.

Cold In July -- This one has already tanked and it is the best of the bunch. I'd heard about it and was planning to see it. Never arrived in my local theater, but there it was as a DVD rental. Nothing in this film is expected. You won't see this plot unraveling. And then, Don Johnson strolls in at the top of the second act and steals the movie out from under Sam Shepard. Rent this. It's great. Box Office = $423,223.

Gone Girl -- I read the book and hated the ending. 

Let's take a moment and mourn "The Hollywood Ending." What was wrong with those anyway?

So, I was going to the movie hoping they'd changed the ending and to see Ben Affleck's penis. This is probably a more enjoyable film experience for people who haven't read the book as the film unfolds slowly. I got a clearer picture of Amy here than I did in the book. And yes, if you watch closely, the star penis makes an appearance. Shower scene, pay attention. But Neil Patrick Harris is also fully exposed and no one is talking about that, which hardly seems fair. Box Office = $51,481,190

Note to self, don't go to movies based on disliked books.    

The Judge -- This just opened yesterday with Robert Downey Jr urging attendance to show Hollywood, movies about people can attract an audience. It's the same old story though -- cranky curmudgeon with a heart of gold vs big city dick with a heart of gold. And all they need is a family crisis for the hearts of gold to break through to win the day. Blech. This one is saved by the cast, Duval, Downey and D'nofrio -- but still, in my experience, dicks don't have hearts of gold. They don't reform. They attract others of the same kind and flourish. Making one wish to send them shopping at Home Depot. Ask for Denzel.

Just opened, so no box office yet. I went to the first showing and the audience applauded the end. Hadn't heard that in a while, so my curmudgey opinion aside, who knows.

90% Stupid

Harlan Ellison says bad science fiction makes people stupid.

LUCY is a movie opening Friday in which the major plot point is that the heroine, exposed to a substance unknown, becomes able to use more than 10% of her brain.

Not that the heroine is impaired and restored, but that all humans only use 10% of their brains. Once she has access to more, super powers ignite.

Every human uses 100% of their brain, TV, social networking and Republicans aside,

EVERYONE USES 100% OF THEIR BRAIN.

If I met that screenwriter, I would throw a rock at him.

Morgan Freeman is on a science show, FFS, yet, playing the neuroscientist in the film, intones the 10% urban myth with the gravity of the Gettysburg Address.

Maybe I should throw a rock at him.

The problem is that the film looks cool. Special effects and the lovely Scarlet will attract that most sought after demographic -- young males -- who will leave the theater wishing they could use more than 10% of their brain.

The more serious flaw is that this film could have been SMART.

Maybe the substance could have created faster responding neuro pathways or conscious control of autonomic brain function with the ability to enhance them at will or a way to unlock partial strands of dormant Neanderthal DNA. And this is just me sitting here writing a blog post. Surely there exists a better idea than a stupid old wives tale.

My in-house anthropologist did her thesis on the brain drainage system -- the network of blood vessels that constitute the circulatory system that maintains the brain. When our ancestors stood upright and stayed that way, the brain drainage system changed from something like this  > to something like this \/ .

However, a certain percentage of modern humans retain the knuckle-dragging brain drainage system which explains Republicans and certain French writer/directors.

I thought I was the only person moved to yell at trailers and movie posters, but, thanks to the Internet, I find I'm an amoeba awash is a sea of the same.

Science News

Infinite Futures

Dorkly

Gus Blog

It will be interesting to see how the film performs. Stay tuned.

Virus

Don't you hate it when something goes viral and you're the last one on earth to know?

In case you missed it.

Where have you been!?

May we present - ta-daa -

Honey Badger.

The viral video.

The Facts.

Must of been my early flu shot.

Movies 2010

Primus, volens et potens

Today I taught an EMS endorsement class to a group of First Responders.

I used a recording of Darth Vader to explain respirations, a naked picture of Vin Diesel for skin assessment and a clip from Psycho as an example of a blood-letting device for the glucometry section.

I knew someday all that time I spent watching movies would come in handy.



*Primus, volens et potens
First, willing and able.
Motto of First Responders.