Friday, February 29, 2008

Wanna Hear the Most
Annoying Sound in the World?


Friday Fill-Ins #61

1. I'm looking forward to DOING SOMETHING DIFFERENT next week.

What, I don't know. I am just in the mood for something different.

2. I don't handle FRUSTRATION very well.

So, don't be frustrating, dig?

3. CHOCOLATE is something I could eat every day.


4. Warmth and sunlight ARE HEAVEN TO ME.

And the beach is Heaven's Gate.

5. EXERCISE here I come!

We recently joined a gym, can anorexia and steroids be far behind?

6. I LIKE tattoo(s).

It amazed me, after my first one, how quickly humanity could be sorted into two camps.

1 - those who disparaged tattooing, always, ALWAYS, showed themselves to be judgemental anal-types unpleasant to know.

2 - those who liked or tolerated tattoos, without exception, were either hip, interesting, fun or all three. Party on.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to GYM DAY (I'm lying), tomorrow my plans include EXERCISE :P and Sunday, I want to GO OUT FOR BREAKFAST!

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Rejection of the Subtle Sort

A magazine, to which I submitted some poetry, sent me a copy.

For free.

Whoopee, I thought.


Maybe they're publishing a poem of mine.

And this is their dear, sweet way,

Of saying so.


A magazine, to which I submitted some poetry, sent me a copy

For free.

Apparently, to show me what real poetry looked like.

Verily, I say unto you, read this poetry to see,

to see,

how it's done in the real world.

Oh, says I.

I get it.

I'm not obscure enough.

I say what I think.

I don't write,

the sky
a green elephant
stretching across my visage
as I gasp blue thoughts.

I say,

You're suffocating me.
Get your fat ass out of my way.

I gently and with malice

deposit the free tome

in the garbage.

Take that. Esoteric smart asses.

Can you hear me now?

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

The Woman Who Baked Pies

I knew a wife who baked pies.

All the time.

All the time.

And her husband left her for a skinny girl with big breasts,

whose cooking skills were in doubt.

As well as,

her ability to stand


The husband of the woman who baked pies,

preferred to worship at the altar of the largely endowed.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of no pie.

I still got tits.

Monday, February 25, 2008


Want to feel like an old person?

Walk on ice.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Friday Fill-In

1. ARRIVING is the best thing about traveling. After being trapped in the car with assorted relatives/traveling companions for nigh onto God knows how long, any destination feels like escape.

2. I love a good FLEECE when I'm cold. Jeez, I'm dull.

3. I often use MY iPOD WHEN I WANT TO BE ALONE. Not that people leave me alone when I'm clearly clutching little iPod.

4. I'm reading DEEP SURVIVAL right now; I 'M INTERESTED IN it. Next up is that resiliency book. Notice a trend?

5. POLITICS is something I dislike talking about. Same old shit, different year, different players.

6. When I visited CANNON BEACH I most looked forward to seeing THE OCEAN! Ocean, ocean, ocean! If I don't get a vacation this year, I'll be getting a divorce next.

Now, that I think about it though, who knows what catastrophes might occur taking the NAUGHTIEST PUPPY IN THE WORLD on vacation. Note to self: finish that survival book first.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to BEING DONE WITH ERRAND DAY (GOD, HOW I HATE ERRAND DAY, tomorrow my plans include CLEANING THE HOUSE and Sunday, I want to SEE THAT NEW FOREIGN ANIMATION FILM AT OUR ART HOUSE THEATER. My weekends are always busier than weekdays. I think that's backwards.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Monday, February 18, 2008

Rest In Peace

Last weekend, our veterinarian was killed in a household accident.

We had a professional relationship with her for over twenty years.

She shared our joy at happy times: puppies.

She was comforting and kind at sad times: old dogs.

She was steady in difficult times: cat shots.

She was resourceful in tough times: mystery illnesses.

She was generous with her time.

When I received a grant to make a photographic exhibition of professional women, she volunteered to be a model.

When I heard the story, I was overwhelmed with sadness. She had just seen Gracie and laughed at my pagan baby stories. I’m going to miss her.
No man is an island, entire of itself;
every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less,
as well as if promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were.
Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind;
and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls;
it tolls for thee.

John Donne

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Pancakes in Church

At church this weekend, while the choir was singing some walk the lenten journey dirge, I got an irrestible urge to sing the Aunt Jemima pancake song.

So, I did.
Aunt Jemima pancakes,
without her syrup,
is like the spring,
without the fall.

There's only one thing worse,
in this universe,
that's no Aunt Jemima
at all.

I felt better.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

I Heart U

This is what it really looks like.


Victor Hugo
Love is a portion of the soul itself, and it is of the same nature as the celestial breathing of the atmosphere of paradise.

Ralph Waldo Emerson
To laugh often and love much... to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to give one's self... this is to have succeeded.

Ella Wheeler Wilcox
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow,
To those who love us best.

Bertrand Russell
To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.

William Blake
Love seeketh not itself to please, Nor for itself hath any care, But for another gives its ease, And builds a heaven in hell’s despair.

Alexandre Dumas
When one loves, one always believes in love.

Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love.

Seize the moments of happiness, love and be loved! That is the only reality in the world, all else is folly.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach.

One word Frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love.

Thomas Mann
It is love, not reason, that is stronger than death.

Robert Burns
Had we never lov'd sae kindly,
Had we never lov'd sae blindly,
Never met -- or never parted,
We had ne'er been broken-hearted.

Lennon & McCartney
All you need is love.

Saturday, February 09, 2008

I'll Save You Some Time and Money

There Will Be Blood

People are greedy.

Daniel Day Lewis is an exquisite actor.

There you go.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Lawn Chair Unavailable?

Sit your butt in a snowbank.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008


Wouldn't it be nice,
if they were all this well-marked?

Monday, February 04, 2008

Utility Is In Eye of Beholder

A new acquaintance raved about Pottery Barn furniture. I didn't know anything about Pottery Barn except that they were made fun of on Friends, so I looked them up.

And found this:


The natural lines of our reclaimed-wood stools are hewn from the trunks of Argentinian cypress trees that have died of natural causes*. They've been smoothed and finished to bring out their inherent character.

Natural is shown; also available in Espresso
Short $199.00
Tall $249.00

Little did I realize, I had a virtual gold mine behind the garage.

You see, we have these in Montana, too.
Except, we call it firewood, and buy it by the cord.
I'm rich.

*my emphasis.

Weather or Not

Had breakfast at the diner the other day, and the joke that went down the counter, one old rancher to the next, was this.

"So, how're you enjoying Global Warming?

It was -20.

Sunday, February 03, 2008


... by any other name is still a mess.Soil Research
Program Do Not Wash