Friday, June 23, 2006


Only later . . .

. . . did this strike me funny.

My family went on vacation to Donner Pass. That must be a cross between the road trip from Hell and the worst Thanksgiving Dinner ever.
Last night, we went to a new Chinese restaurant in town. The County Coroner's car was parked at the door. We still went in.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Colliding Disparities

Colliding Disparities is an anthropological theory that posits we become what we mock.

I can’t even count the times this has happened to me.

Most recently, what comes to mind, is the cursed iPod. After strolling a college campus where every, yes, EVERY, student I saw was plugged in and rocking to their own special beat, I lamented a generation who would never enjoy the sound of wind in the trees or the lilt of fragile birdsong.

When I bought one for myself after being seduced by a sale, I learned plugging in to one’s own special music is a convenient way to tell the world to take a hike, or at least, do not bother me right now.

The point being, by now, I should have known better.


Cruising the Net, I wandered into an odd corner of cyberspace where denizens reject certain technologies, parading proudly backward to a simpler time.

Hipster PDA is a collection of 3x5 index cards printed with different forms, held together with a small binder clip and carried in a back pocket. This is a low-tech replacement for the ubiquitous electronic handheld device – the Personal Digital Assistant, that moved from techie cool to business hip to everybody has one.

The PDA in the Hipster equation stands for Parietal Disgorgement Aid, which made me think of brain puke. Which is also where I caught the train. I noticed blogs calling notebooks, Analog Capture Devices.

Analog Capture Device. Paper and pen in other words. I smirked. I scoffed. I decided some people have too much free time. I clicked and snickered my way through sites that offered all manner of forms as free downloads to personalize one’s own Hipster.

Wait a minute.

Not having met my procrastination quota for the week, I downloaded some forms which my printer then refused to print. Hook set. I couldn’t let the printer get away with ignoring my commands, so I persisted until neatly printed 3x5 cards were stacking up in tidy piles and looking, I might say, pretty cool.

Wait a minute.

Yep. Reeled in. Netted. Thrown in the back of the boat.

I made one for myself.

Useful forms, with a neat picture for a cover, held together with a small binder clip.

Oh brother, I thought. I hope everyone doesn’t decide to jump off a cliff, like my mother always warned me.

Except, I took my new Analog Capture Device on a shopping trip, and it was handy. Useful. Cuter than two puppies and neater than Seinfeld’s cereal cupboard.

First item on the shopping list card was more blank 3x5 cards.

The Hipster PDA still ranks pretty high with the Geek Quotient on the Dork Meter. I know this because the few people I told about it in the real world, rolled their eyes and smirked.

One thing can’t be denied. Really, which is more fun to write with?
Colliding Disparities. See who laughs last.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Rent This

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang out yesterday on DVD.

Shane Black is a peach.

Val Kilmer and Robert Downey Jr are actors who always deliver.

I'd watched so many bad movies in a row I thought I might be suffering the tinseltown curse. And remember -- I'm the one who always loves the movies.

Tonight, I'm watching The World's Fastest Indian. Two good ones in a row. The curse is lifted.

P.S. Behold the interesting miscellany one stumbles across on the Net. A list of Irish Curses.

Monday, June 12, 2006

I'm Going To Sell My TV

As much as I love using the language that turned my mother's hair gray, I find it difficult to include the phrase, mother-fucking cocksuckers, in a conversation unless I'm talking about DEADWOOD.

In case you haven't heard, HBO canceled DEADWOOD.

Here's an article at Salon that tells the tale.

I watch LOST, THE SOPRANOS, DEADWOOD, FRASIER reruns, LAW&ORDER reruns, LUCY reruns. Sensing a trend?

The Sopranos has slowed to a mind-numbing crawl as they approach the last episodes, and then they'll be gone. Now DEADWOOD is dead.

What do the cocksucking mother-fuckers expect me to watch now?

Rumors abound, and there's an effort a foot to persuade HBO to relent and leave the best show on television, on television.

On the Save Deadwood website, you can email HBO, cancel HBO, and/or join the discussion forum.

The old home place will be dull as dirt after I sell the TV and clean up my language. I'll have to take up baking cookies or smoking squirrels just to pass the time.

Damn hoople-heads.

The picture is Virginia City, Montana. An example of something else that lives on only in memory.

The Break Up

Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Anniston play Gary and Brooke in a romantic comedy that is neither. She's a drip and he's a bore. Why should we care what happens to them?

Three people attended today's matinee. A young couple who sat in the last row, and me. As the credits rolled, the girl said, "That sucked."

I think she meant the movie, and she was right.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Casting the Bio

Who would play you if they made a movie of your life?

Since Marilyn Monroe is dead, I’ll say Meryl Streep.


Hillary Swank.

No, wait.

Well, John Denver’s dead too.

Guess I’ll stick with Meryl.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Since The World Didn't End 6/6/06

I decided to answer the Scribosphere Meme because everyone else on the Web has. I tarried on the first question because I have so many film related memories.

ONE (1) earliest film-related memory:

Watching WIZARD OF OZ every year around Easter. To this day, if anyone asks me, what’s your favorite movie, my Dad shouts out, WIZARD OF OZ.

Realizing in the middle of YANKEE DOODLE DANDY that a movie didn't have to have a horse in it for me to watch it all the way through. Except, those were both on TV.

BAMBI at the Drive-In. Repeatedly asking my parents Is It Almost Over? I wanted everyone out of that burning forest.

Seeing DRACULA, also at the Drive-In with my parents.

My parents were warped.

I may have gone through puberty during a Sean Connery movie. I had a thing about hairy chests for quite a while.

First date with the guy I married, we saw a Charlie Bronson movie. If we’d both been paying attention, much of what followed could have been anticipated.

TWO (2) favorite lines from movies:

Then one day the cat got her. PAULIE
What did you have in mind? HARVEY

THREE (3) jobs you'd do if you could not work in the "biz":

Too obstinate to consider fallback jobs.

FOUR (4) jobs you actually have held outside the industry:

Too depressing.

THREE (3) book authors I like:

James Rollins
Robert Parker
Sharon McCrumb

TWO (2) movies you'd like to remake or properties you'd like to adapt:

I wouldn’t remake anyone’s movie. Remakes are the work of the Devil. Let’s just say, I’m into original work.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Say What?


(meem) A unit of cultural information, such as a cultural practice or idea, that is transmitted verbally or by repeated action from one mind to another.

I've been posting ideas and links from other meme sights, and decided to try my hand at it.

So, here's my first. Probably last (although I can't promise that.)

In the screenplay that first got me some attention, there was one character who always said what nobody else would ever say. She would barge into a scene and say the most outrageous stuff while everyone else gaped at her. I loved her. Writing her was the most fun I've ever had in a room by myself. Ah, well, maybe not the most ... nevermind. And the odd part was that she always told the truth, but that never helped her cause.

So, what would you say, that you would ordinarily NEVER say, but if you knew you could get away with it, what would you say? And to whom.

I'll go first.

Darlin' Girl, you're scaring the crap out of your mother, but don't let that stop you.

Want to make your own Warning Labels? Here's the link.