When The Hairdresser Makes You Cry

Just in time for the holidays, I got the worst haircut EVER. One might think being a good tipper and a faithful client might mean this situation would be avoided, but no. Probably because "shorter" and "longer" are judgement calls.

I googled, "the bitch cut my hair too short," and hit over two million sites in three seconds.

Isn't that sad? So many unhappily coiffed folks.

Next I sought advice for what to do when ... sniff, sniff, sob.

Faster than a bald guy looking for hair plugs, I was directed to a multitude of helpful, sympathetic places with lists, LISTS, of remedies.

#1 was PRENATAL VITAMINS, the hot secret to growing hair. And babies, I suppose. Way back in the misty dim recesses of my mind, I seem to remember something about nice pregnant hair, but thought at the time it was nature's way of distracting me from events to come.

#2 was NIOXIN which apparently thickens and grows hair and is available in different combinations for whatever hair problem you sport.

 

#3 was HORSE SHAMPOO which makes equine manes and tails silky and humans extra hairy. Kind of like using Wolfman's shave cream. I remember when this was a fad, but I don't remember why.

#4 was an HERBAL PREP I'd never heard of, which the hairless individual in question was supposed to add to the horse shampoo and voila! a thick rich head of hair. I decided not to try chemistry.

#5 or last on every one's list was LIVE WITH IT. It's JUST HAIR. It will GROW BACK.

And to all those people I say,

SHUT UP.

And then, there are the loved ones who don't know what to do for the victim of a bad stylist.

My kiddo took one look and gave me a hug. Then the other night, out of the blue, she said, "it's a nice color."

Husband Dearest came in the bathroom the first day after I had fixed it myself, then walked out without saying anything. But he thought better about that, came back and said, "it fluffs up a little." Aces to him for jumping in over his head.

As for me, I now have good hat hair, which means, my hair looks good in a hat, which is where it is going to stay until spring.