Age Appropriate

So, I got one of these.

I wanted to see what my heart was doing and the sleep reports looked interesting.

Less interesting was how many steps I took in a day ‘cuz, I’m a writer. The most important steps are the ones that take me to my seat in front of the computer.

Turns out the thing is like that snoopy friend you never wanted.

Lots of intrusive questions.

Then after a couple of days, the reports filtered in.

The first heart report sounded good ... but ... what's that -- for a woman my age?

I beg your pardon. 

That's just a hop, skip and slippery slope to -- you're too old to do that. Or too young. Or too female. Or (these days) not female enough.

How rude. 

Besides what is hidden in the fine print is that the numbers show a resting heart rate, but not a real resting heart rate just an averaging of the heart rate over a day, so insult me with false findings why don't you? Thanks ever so.

Looking at the sleep report, it seemed like I don’t get much, over-laid with a heart rate strip that looked like a nine on the Richter scale.

Suddenly, this was too much information.

And the thing knew where I was all the time, what I was doing (bragged it could guess any activity after 15 minutes) what I’d been eating and how much I drank.

I am almost used to being tracked non-stop by the cell phone. This was one eye on me too many.

I took it off and tucked it into my sock drawer. I doubt it will cause any trouble there.