Digital Still Life

I want my analog life back. Where a watch just told time. The phone stayed home, and the car minded its own business.

Last night, after dinner out, pulled into the garage and noticed a blue light in the overhead display.

What was that? Closer look – a wi-fi symbol. 

 

I don’t remember ever seeing that! 

Trying to see what pressing the wi-fi light would do, accidentally hit the SOS button instead. The car started calling emergency services and wouldn't stop. 

 

Then Siri heard the car calling emergency services and decided to call emergency services too.

 

Thankfully Montana doesn’t have complete cell coverage so neither call would connect.

Stopped Siri. Sat in the dark paging thru car manual to learn there are no directions for ending Starlink call.

 

Had to drive halfway to town to hit cell service wherein the car said, “Would you like to end this call? Say CANCEL.”

That’s not all I said.

Remember this guy?

 

No Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.

No kidding.

I’m surprised the watch didn’t chime in. It tried to call emergency once after I jumped down from the pickup bed and it thought I had fallen.

All this tech care-taking is a good idea, I suppose, if and when you need it. 

 

By the by, in spite of Starlink ads that say it works everywhere – that would be where ever there is cell service. Note to self, when planning an emergency, be in town.

When not needed, it’s another potentially humiliating privacy intrusion. I wouldn’t want to unnecessarily add to emergency services workload. Or have to explain to a large policeman that I can’t control my phone. Or car. Or watch.

Big Brother is watching. With the phone. And the car. And the watch.

And I can’t even close the curtains.

FYI - to cancel an accidental SOS call from a Subaru, hold down the SOS button for two seconds.