Because that little heathen killed one of our chickens last night.
A buff hen named after a blonde movie star from old Hollywood, who never did anything except lay one egg a day and eat grasshoppers. The hen, not the movie star.
And if Night of the Chicken Murder wasn’t enough, a deer moseyed into the greenhouse and ate all the peas and the ripest green tomato.
Since when do deer eat tomatoes?
And then, as I was dragging the hose to the greenhouse to water the survivors, I spied a SNAKE lying in wait in front of the door.
When I turned to holler for Earl to come kill the snake, I swallowed a bug.
So, on this day, friends, the score is:
Nature 4 Humans 0.
Oh wait, the bug didn’t make it. 1 for our side.