Screenwriting Basics

Over at Unknown Screenwriter newbie questions have over run his email. From the Scribosphere, multiple voices offer to assist.

And it's been a long time since I wrote about screenwriting, so here goes.

Should I type FADE IN: at the beginning of my screenplay?

Traditionalists say yes, but you don't have to -- it's a script, they get it.

Should I number my scenes?

No.

Generally speaking, about how many parentheticals should I have in my screenplay?

However many you want, but realize you'll be the only one who reads them.

Can I just type FIN at the end of my screenplay?

No. Even though I'm not so attached to the FADE IN, I am very fond of FADE OUT.

Do you use Celtx?

No.

If I use Celtx to write my screenplay will I have a better chance of selling it?

There is no magic pen.

Should I sign my screenplay?

No.

Should I include my email address on my screenplay?

You want to hear from them? Provide access.

Why do I have to put my character’s name in caps through out my screenplay?

Stray from standard format at your own risk.

What do I do with my screenplay when I’m finished with it?

Oh golly. You don't want to know the first thing that crossed my mind here.

Can you take a look at page 69 of my screenplay and tell me if it’s correct?

Page 1 would probably suffice, you brazen hussy.

Should I send my screenplay to you in a box or an envelope?

Neither.

If I pay you $5000, will you help me sell my screenplay?

Are you nuts?

If I pay you $10,000 will you help me sell my screenplay?

Apparently, yes is the answer to the question, are you nuts.

Will you marry me?

Oh poor fool, I am already spoken for.

What font should I use to write my screenplay?

Courier 12pt.

Can I just write my screenplay in Word?

If you are a masochist, go for it.

How many pages should my screenplay be?

115 or however many it takes you to tell the story unless that number is 145.

How long should each act of my screenplay be?

As long as they need to be to accomplish what each Act needs to accomplish.

Is it okay if my hero and villain both have the same name?

No dear, that will confuse Poor Reader.

Is it okay if my Protagonist is Hillary Clinton?

Only if you're a Democrat and want to be sued.

Is it okay to thank my Mom in my screenplay?

Only in person, and while you're at it, express your appreciation for those 12 hours of back labor too.

Is it okay to thank my husband in my screenplay?

Over dinner one night.

Is it okay to thank YOU in my screenplay?

In your Oscar acceptance speech.

Do you accept credit cards?

No.

Do you live alone?

No.

What’s your favorite color?

Yellow.

What’s your favorite food?

A well-made Reuben.

What’s your favorite drink?

Guinness

Do you smoke?

No, but I burn.

Do you drink?

Yes.

What color are you eyes?

Blue.

When’s the last time you had sex?

A lady never tells.