No. Seriously. I mean it.
I'm standing in the toothpaste aisle of Target, trying to remember what else was on the list that I forgot at home.
Just never mind about that.
A woman walked up to me and asked if I could help her.
I'm just out of the gym, wearing shorts, a short-sleeve linen shirt and Chaco sandals. My hair is south of good grief, but at least I'm clean, having oh-so-recently showered.
The woman is holding a small box of something and she says,
"I'm going to use this denture cleanser to clean my son's retainer every morning, but I don't know how it works. Do you just drop in the tablet?"
Now I thought, but didn't say --
HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW?
I looked at her. Looked at the aisle display and glory be, the display we're standing in front of is dental floss on the top and false teeth supplies on the bottom.
I didn't sneer or anything, I swear. She kinda leaned away from me when I replied, "I think so."
Then, she was gone, and I'm left wandering the aisles of Target, wondering exactly how old do I appear.
Wandering and wondering.
Concluded it was proximity to said product that caused this unfortunate incident.
Next time I need to ponder in a store, I'm going to stand by the condom display.