Fat Cat

Our cat is fat.

I thought it was cool to have a cat the size of Godzilla until the vet told us the fat in the cat’s neck was crushing his windpipe. Which meant, the cat had to go on a diet.

The cat was not amused.

Not only did this life-saving diet plan mean he had to eat diet food. It meant he didn’t get that much of it either.

And then I learned: cats lie.

Dogs don’t lie.

I love you. I want to go outside. Yeah, I dug that hole. Ain’t it a beaut.

Dogs don’t lie.

Cats, on the other hand, will lie to your face with nary a guilty twitch.

Maybe that’s how the phrase Fat Cat got to be associated with politicians.

I am not a crook.

I will not raise taxes.

I did not have sexual relations with that woman.

Irag has weapons of mass destruction.

You forgot to feed me today.



Liar.