Monday, July 10, 2006

Gather 'Round, Wannabees and Hoopleheads

Yeah, that’s the actual Deadwood. But today I’m not about mourning HBO’s fiscal nearsightedness that caused it to cancel nasty old Deadwood’s ticket.

You see, I decided to take a screenwriting class.

Enter screenwriting in a search engine and watch a gazillion hits return.

Try screenwriting class, and get a zillion more.

Pour through the offerings and experience what Deadwood’s hoopleheads must have felt as they marched down the thoroughfare between the Gem and Bella Union whilst Al Swearengen and Sy Tolliver peered down at them.

Prepare to be fleeced.

I’ve often heard screenwriting compared to the Old West Gold Rush where the only lucky souls who made a reliable income were the ones outfitting and otherwise servicing the intrepid dreamers who bet their lives on slaving in dirt for a chance at a fortune.

I’d count how many screenwriting books I’ve bought, but I fear for my sanity.

My hard drive is loaded with off-the-Net articles. How to Pitch, Logline Advice, Beat Sheets, Marketing Secrets, High Concept Strategies, Structure Guidelines, 5 – 7 – 8 Sequences to Riches and Fame, How to Make Hollywood Beat A Path To Your Door Even If You Live In NoPlace Prairieville, Award Winning Guidelines to Screenwriting Success, How To Make A Producer Love Your Work Even If Your Mom Thinks You’re Odd, Guaranteed Success In 3, 5, 87, or 967 Easy Steps, Make Money In Your Spare Time Using Only Your Computer and 3 Rubber Bands.

Blah, blah, blah. Blah. Blah.

So, my dears, you may inquire, why’d she succumb now?

Well, it’s dusty out here in the diggings and a cold beer sounded nice, and I just happened to wander into the Gem when Al was in a rare good mood . . .

One day, I wondered to my self, how long are you planning on doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different outcome?

Furthermore, dear self, how many more soft passes can you stand where they praise the writing and pass on the project?

And Self said back, Jesus, Mary and all the Saints, then do something different.

So, being in a mood that fluctuated between irrational commitment to career and willingness to risk fleecing, I serendipitously followed a link, found a site, perused the classes, checked out the purveyors, forked over the dough and am now committed to five months of class, homework and learning something new.

Previously, I reached the conclusion, that all the formatting, beat sheet adherence, and structure strictures were minor factors in what makes someone want to buy a script. I decided I was missing some important element of STORY and that was what held me back.

We shall see.

Back to the diggings now, fellow hoopleheads. The odds may be favor the house, but somewhere there’s a new strike every day.

1 comment:

Glad to hear from you!