Sunday, December 24, 2006

Santa and the Animal Rights Activist

Twas the night before Christmas and at the North Pole,
The team was held hostage by an activist named Lowell.
“Flying reindeer are endangered,” he told those who gathered.
“Nine left. We must save them. And that’s all that matters.”

The elves hollered, “Santa, will know what to do!”
They sent one to find him. Even Rudolph looked blue.
Santa showed up then, his jolly old self.
But he soon wore a frown when he heard from an elf.

“This guy says the reindeer must live a free life.
You’ve abused them and used them and put them through strife.”
“Why, you must be mistaken!” cried Santa to Lowell.
“I love all the reindeer. I’m a jolly old soul.”

“Listen Fatso,” sneered Lowell. “I don’t care what you say.
These elegant creatures shall go their own way.
Read this and weep. These deer will not budge.
Here’s a court order sent up from a federal judge.”

Santa was horrified. He watched with alarm.
As Lowell nailed the order to the door of the barn.
“But what of the children who’ve been good a whole year?
We can’t disappoint them. I need my reindeer.”

“Don’t care what you need,” said Activist Lowell.
One elf whispered softly, “He’ll get nothing but coal.”
On that note, Lowell left them, the elves and the deer.
And Santa, who worried ‘bout Christmas this year.

He said to the elves, “Pack up all the toys.
I won’t disappoint all the good girls and boys.
I’ll deliver the goodies, on foot if I must.
Forget Lowell. I’ll never let Christmas go bust.”

When they filled up his bag, he walked into the night.
And the elves heard him mutter as he trudged out of sight,
“Merry Christmas to all, but oh, what a bummer.
Be good and take care. I’ll be back in the summer.”


  1. Hahahaaaaa!
    I hope you and yours have a wonderful Christmas, Cynthia.

  2. Thanks.

    Best wishes to you, Tomkat and Miss Scruffy.

    Merry Christmas.


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